The meaning of life is to experience divine ecstasy. How? By allowing consciousness to flow through all experiences without resistance. The problem is that we often get lost in our preferences, attachments, and aversions, which creates a false sense of self and leads to suffering. True spiritual growth involves letting go of past psychological blockages by facing life’s challenges without inner resistance. This means learning to use every moment as an opportunity for purification and self-realization—in essence, to use life as your guru.
How do Black women grow, transform, and make good use of the power they possess? In her new book, Evolving While Black, inspirational life coach and “Chief Happiness Curator” Chianti Lomax shares a guide to help Black women achieve authentic happiness and liberation on their own terms. This episode of Insights at the Edge brings you into her company with Sounds True founder Tami Simon as they discuss Chianti’s personal journey and the many practical approaches she teaches.
Give a listen to their conversation on: education, the golden key to improving your life; positive psychology; how exposure creates expansion; learning ways to flourish in the face of systemic racism and oppression; listening to hip-hop that empowers us; shifting from poverty to possibility; breaking free from the inherited belief systems that no longer serve you; mindfulness and emotions; what Chianti discovered while skydiving; the challenge of accurately assessing your own level of self-awareness; “polling your crew” to learn how you show up in life; the life satisfaction pie and how much of our happiness is ours to determine; journaling as a vehicle for rewriting your truth; taking your thoughts “to court”; optimism research and the A,B,C, D method; three dimensions of happiness: pleasure and gratification, strength and virtue, and meaning and purpose; self-acceptance and validation; setting healthy boundaries; and more.
Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.
The mind, like the ocean, can be calm or disturbed, but the same consciousness is observing both states. Rather than trying to fix or overreact to a disturbed mind, one can learn to step back and observe the disturbance without feeding it. Ultimately, ceasing to thrash around in the disturbed mind allows the mental energies to settle down naturally. This process of letting go of the impulse to struggle leads to greater inner peace and spiritual growth over time.
How do we free ourselves from the endless pull of external events and the turmoil of our thoughts and emotions—to return to the seat of the true self? Like a balloonist seeking to rise skyward, the key is to stop fighting the ropes that are holding us down, and to practice the moment-by-moment yoga of letting go. When we do, we cease to be an instrument of the personal self and start being a liberated expression of the divine will.
An Excerpt From To Tend And To Hold: Honoring Our Bodies, Our Needs, and Our Grief Through Pregnancy and Infant Loss
For as long as there has been life, there has been death. For as long as we have birthed life, we have also birthed death. What you feel has been felt since time immemorial, and it has been felt by many, though womb loss is still not widely known or acknowledged. Consider that even in the most optimal conditions, there is only a 30 to 40 percent chance that a clinically recognized pregnancy will occur in a given menstrual cycle, and only about 30 percent of conceived pregnancies progress to live birth.1 Globally, approximately one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage and 2.6 million pregnancies end in stillbirth.2 In 2022, 2.3 million newborns died in the first month of life,3 and approximately 73 million induced abortions occur every year.4 Womb loss in and after pregnancy is, in fact, a common and regular occurrence, though many of us may struggle with feelings of inadequacy and shame as if such loss is atypical and we are deserving of blame. The prevailing stigma surrounding womb loss makes enduring it all the more challenging as we may feel reluctant to reach out for support and hold on to harmful ideas about our worth. You are not alone, nor are you any less precious and deserving of support. You are not alone as the anguish of womb loss has been felt, is being felt at this very moment, and will continue to be felt the world over.
Before we go any further, let us reconnect with our breath. It can be hard to breathe if you’ve recently learned about your womb loss or impending loss and feel pressure to make decisions right away. Or if you have learned of the potential for a loss and have to endure a waiting period before you know for certain. It can be hard to breathe even as you process a loss long since passed. The following practice is an invitation to make the resilient choice to slow down and allow yourself a moment to breathe. So that you can feel grounded. So that you can have the capacity to be present to your grief. So that you can tend to your needs.
GROUNDING BREATHING PRACTICE
Three Deep Breaths
This offering is a simple and short breathing practice. Because you deserve breathing room, and because there is power in the pause. In that fleeting moment between what was and what can be, if you can breathe deeply and connect with your body, you may find yourself more able to understand what you feel and then what you need. Allow yourself this pause so you can make a more intentional decision about what comes next.
The Invitation
When you are ready, take three deep breaths at your own pace and in your own way. You might inhale and exhale through the nose or inhale through the nose and exhale audibly through the mouth. You might close your eyes or soften your gaze as you do so, allowing your awareness to gently follow each breath, letting everything else fade to the background. You might even think the following words as you breathe, allowing them to help you feel grounded in this moment.
Inhale. Exhale. One.
Inhale. Exhale. Two.
Inhale. Exhale. Two.
Your body may want to continue breathing this way, or it may feel like this was enough. Honor what feels right for you.
Sometimes breathing is the most we can bring ourselves to do, the best we can do, when our whole being is overcome. Deciding what comes next may feel like too much to ask of ourselves. If so, breathe, and trust that it is enough for this moment.
Eileen Santos Rosete, MSMFT, PCD(DONA), CYT 200, holds a master of science in marriage and family therapy from Northwestern University and is certified as a DONA International postpartum doula, trauma-informed yoga teacher, and grief educator. Her brand, Our Sacred Women®, is known for its elevated offerings that help women feel seen, held, and honored. She is especially passionate about supporting all who give birth and are postpartum both after live births and after loss. To learn more, visit eileensantosrosete.com.
Have you ever been in the spotlight? The excitement, the lights, and… …ALL EYES ON YOU (Gulp!)
While some athletes, speakers, and performers bask in the glow, it can be scary for most others. I happen to be one of these “others,” complete with sweaty palms, a racing heart, and a blank mind!
These big feelings inspired me to write All Eyes on You, a story that helps kids overcome performance anxiety when they find themselves the center of attention, such as on stage, in a classroom, or on the baseball field.
I share tried-and-true tips for dealing with these moments (such as breathing exercises and counting to slow down your racing heart) while also having fun (like picturing the audience in their underwear) to help boost confidence and be present in the moment.
It also makes an excellent tool for helping others calm the butterfly stampede in their stomachs and feel a sense of camaraderie that they are not alone in their stage fright.
So when the stage calls (or the front of the classroom or home plate), take a deep breath and give these tips a try. You just might surprise yourself—and those around you!
Break a leg,
Susi Schaefer Author & Illustrator
P.S. I invite you to download free coloring sheets from the book to also enjoy with the little ones in your life!
Susi Schaefer
Susi Schaefer trained as a classical glass painter in Austria before moving to the United States and studying graphic design. She is the illustrator of Zoo Zen and Good Morning, I Love You, Violet! as well as the author-illustrator of other picture books for children. For more, visit susischaefer.com.
